Well, last night was horrible. I couldn't sleep and the lunar eclipse wasn't visible from where I was. Most of the night was spend in prayer.. until finally I decided to take some calming things and try to sleep.
I woke up at 6am.. and tried to go back to sleep. Next time I woke up at 7:10am.. still turned over. Before my alarm went at 8am I headed downstairs and tried doing 'things'. Nothing seemed to really work.
9am eventually came, so I grabbed the phone and went to call the clinic to see how Duncan was doing. Engaged... figures.. just imagine all the other owners that are probably experiencing the same feelings as I am. 9:30 I decided to call again.. the phone had been engaged all morning.. and this time I told them I'd wait until the specialist was done with her phonecall.
I eventually got to speak to her. She said Duncan was being rather sluggish, and isn't as active as we would have hoped. We're hoping this is just because he's overwhelmed by the whole situation.. we'll have to wait and see.
She also asked me about the pendant.. she heard from some other ferret owner about the donation-running, and was asking if it came from me. I told her it was, and I think she was touched by the idea.
The rest of the day was spend trying to cast all the ordered pendants. It kept my mind off things, but I could only do so much of them before I needed to do something else. I went for a walk outside, along the forest edge... found Duncan's tracks from two days ago where we walked. I touched them.. and cried. I decided to take the car and head to the Nature Park instead.
I saw the otters, and when I reached the boar area it was labelled as 'area off-limits, do not enter'. I ran into one of the rangers and asked them what was going on. The culled the population last week or so, to give the female boars some rest from the younger males. I was trying to find out where the shot animals were, in hopes of perhaps being able to use parts, but it looks like everything was already gone.
It's odd. My mind is still going '8am, gotta feed Duncan, 4pm gotta feed Duncan 11pm, last time before going to bed'. Whenever my mind says it's that time I just look at the empty cage, and know I don't have to.
Gave the opened can of fresh meat to our house cat. The cat seemed to REALLY enjoy the fresh meats. It's good to see it won't be thrown away afterall. If and when Duncan comes back, I'll happily prepare new food for him.
Right now, I wish I could go to sleep.. and wake up at 8am... in time for the 9am call. I wish I could call more often.. but know the clinic is doing the best they can, and that they know what they're doing. Doesn't make things any easier though...
Next dayWell, I just got off the phone with Hanneke, the ferret specialist from the town of Helmond. Duncan had a little bit to eat last night, but threw up half of it. He's still sluggish, and still overwhelmed by everything. She doesn't like it, and wants to keep him over the weekend on close monitoring as well. She doesn't think he's going to die, but better safe than sorry.
She's right.
If he'd be able to come back home tomorrow, should he would relapse there is no way I could get to her in time. And even if I could, the weekend is her 'weekend' as well, and it is only spend looking after operated ferrets and her own family of course. Although this will kick up the costs yet again, it is the best decision. What am I saying, there is no decision, THIS is the only rightful choice to make.
I'll have to email the specialist today, that way she can send me a email on saturday to tell me how he's doing. I thought that was a wonderful personal gesture, and it just reassured me he is in the best hands possible.
With a bit of luck I may be able to take him home on monday. But again, we'll have to wait and see how Duncan feels that day. If he's feeling the same on monday as he is feeling today he won't be coming home yet. I pray he will be home soon.
The weekend will be a tough one to get through... I hope I can find some distraction in hiking, working... anything really. I have a photoshoot on the 23rd of February (gods.. that'll turn out glorious won't it?), and hopefully I'll be able to keep my cool. If not, screw them... "It's my '

arty'" comes to mind. On sunday I'll be driving to a taxidermy colleague of mine, whom has offered to relieve me of some of my commissions, which are running late. I'm VERY thankful for that.. another load off my shoulders.
Again I want to thank hose of you for the verbal support and the donations. Without all of your this operation wouldn't even have been possible, and chances are Duncan would have been doing much worse. With a little luck, the donations will keep coming in.. May this weekend be over quickly, and may my buddy return to me soon.
I miss you my baby
